Thursday, February 18, 2010

Good Things-They Come to Those Who Have a Right Heart!

*****If you can't handle honesty, especially out of a Pastor's wife, please don't bother reading this. It is a humorous piece, and I am brutally honest about myself. It is meant to show the folly of selfishness and selfcenteredness. I can laugh at myself, and I invite you ot laugh with me. If you intend to judge, I ask you to keep the verdict to yourself.******



I have to take you way back for this one, I mean waaaay back. Like almost 4 years ago. Were you thinking farther back? Sorry, this has been a long journey for me. It seems like 40 years, much like the children of Israel wandering around it the wilderness.



So, around 4 years ago the happy Whitman family, complete with a West Highland Terrier, decide they need another pet. Amendment: The Whitman family minus one-me! It wasn't that I was completely opposed, it was just that I was very much afraid that I would end up with all the training duties. We had new carpet and new furniture. Why ruin it?? We had one perfectly contented pet, Shiloh. Did he really want a contender?


But, alas, I was vetoed. My husband has always wanted a Siberian Husky, so there was no way to stop this plan for a new pet. Much to his and the children's delight, some dear friends of ours had some Husky puppies. It was love at first sight, even for me. I still remained cautiously guarded. I was not blinded by this blue eyed beauty. However, she became the newest member of the Whitman crew. Little did we know that Nikita would become Shiloh's arch rival and my nemisis.

Nikita was well loved by the children and Kevin, but I saw her for what she was...trouble! She was aggressive, especially towards Shiloh. She chewed on everything in sight. As she grew, she began to resemble a cockroach on stilts. Her body seemed too slender and wobbly for her long, splindly legs. Those darling blue eyes became mischevious.

Her biggest problem was chewing. Even though we supplied her with chew toys, she loved to chew on my things. Not the children's things. Not Kevin's things. MY things. She would descriminately over look the children's shoes on the living room floor in order to seek out my shoes that were put away neatly. Boy was she smart! She shredded my clothing, not Kevin's or the children's. Funny how that worked out.

Nikki was barricaded from my bedroom. She was not allowed in my bedroom for any reason at all! I had to be particularly careful when I was putting away laundry because she would sneak in, slither under the bed, and hid without me ever knowing. Sneaky little fox. She was as fast as lighening! I can't even begin to enumerate the times I would go back in my bedroom and find her little sleepy head laying on a pile of clothes that she had pulled from the dirty clothes basket in the master bath and shredded to pieces. When I would scream at her, she would look at me with sadistic glee, then run for her life!

But one day it got serious. Very serious. My Bible was missing, and no matter where we looked we couldn't find it. We checked the SUV, the truck, the music basket by the piano...it was nowhere to be found. I never leave my Bible at church, but I concluded, that must have been what had happened. I had used another Bible at home during our search, but it was driving me crazy trying to figure out where my Bible was.

Then on a Sunday morning, I remembered Nikita's great propensity to hide under my bed. I looked under the foot of my bed but didn't see anything. I remembered that the last place I had it was in a basket beside my bed, so I looked on my side. Since my bed is only 18 inches from the wall, I had to squeeze in this small spot. There I was, bowing like a Muslim, one eye squished closed, nose pinned to the carpet, looking under my bed for a Bible still at large.

Then I spotted it. It was halfway under my king size bed. I got on my stomach and started stretching and wiggling and grunting...but I finally got it! My Bible was finally back in my possession. I was thrilled. But only for a moment. I saw huge gnaw marks on the spine and corners of my Bible. I was ready to exact revenge on an animal I never wanted and on the person that brought her here. I thought to myself, "Someone is soooo going to pay" I immediately let out a banshee scream in Fred Flintstone fashion, "KE-VIN!!!!!!!!!" From that point on, Nikita had a bulls eye on her back. I began to look for new owners right away.

Since it was Sunday morning, I had to carry my newly mangled Bible to church as soon as I found it. I was so upset. I couldn't even cry. Now, in my book, that's pretty upset. I decided to carry that Bible as a medal of Honor. Sick isn't it? I was out to prove I had been done wrong by a dog I didn't want. And guess who was going to have to buy me a new Bible?

In a way, it served as an experiment. I wanted to see how long I would have to carry a mangled Textus Receptus before I would be offered an new one. I thought it should be replaced immediately. After all, it wasn't my fault! If it had been up to me, 'ole cockroach Nikki would have never lodged at Whitsinn to begin with.

That following Christmas, I fully expected a new Bible under the tree. We had a wonderful Christmas, but I didn't get a Bible. Strange. I know I dropped at least 1000 hints. I dropped hints over the next several years, but I never got a Bible. It got to the point that I was like, "OK. I better not be getting a Bible. 'Cause I deserve that from like 4 years ago! I'm due on that issue from the Nikita episode, so I should be getting that regardless of a holiday!"

Valentines Day, Birthdays, Christmases....they have all passed. And I've wondered when Kevin would present me with a new Bible. ****crickets chirping***** I still have the same mangled Antiochan text.

Until recent events that is....Last week Kevin asked me what I wanted for Valentines Day, and I really didn't know what to tell him. I had not given it much thought at all.

We were coming home from a week long meeting at Lake Robinson Baptist Church in Hartsville SC, and we stopped at a Christian Bookstore. I asked Kevin about a Bible (I'm due, remember?). He showed me several, but I wasn't pleased with any that I saw. We both decided to wait and order one online after we got home.

When I got home, I found the one I wanted, I mean really wanted. Kevin was pleased with my choice and said he would buy it for me.

Sunday night while sitting in Church, I had my Bible on my lap. I ran my hand across the cover and ran my fingers around the chew marks that had hallmarked my Bible for almost 4 years now. I prayed in my heart, "Lord, I really want that new Bible. I want a new concordance, too. I want a Bible cover to protect this new one."

For the first time since the Nikita incident, I literally yearned for a new Bible. I sat and thought about studying for Sunday School out of a new Bible. I thougth about how precious the words are that are contained within the pages...my desire ony waxed stronger as I contemplated what I held in my lap.

Then the Lord gently reproved me and said, "You know that's why you haven't gotten a new one yet. You haven't had a desire. You've only had an expectation."

My heart dropped. In my silly crusade to show I was a victim of circumstance, I was being so selfish and selfcentered. I wanted my husband's desire for me to have a new Bible to be greater than my own. What was wrong with me??? I actually expected to get a Bible off of my husband's desire. Very twisted but oh so common in the victim mentality.

But then, in the midst of guilt and shame, the Lord spoke to me and said, "You get a new one now, though." My Father is like that, encouraging me and lifting my spirits, even when I am the source of my own trouble. Confession to the Lord does so much, doesn't it?

Somehow we feel like others become responsible for our reaction to pain, anguish, and suffering. I was the only one responsible for making the chewed Bible cover a way to make my husband look bad or a way to make me look good. The key is responsibility...and my, doesn't that scare most people! The truth is, Nikita, my unwelcomed guest, was the only one responsible for my damaged Bible, and she didn't have the money to buy one. So....I have to get it from someone, right?? The ridiculous extremes people will go to just because they want to prove a point or because they are angry.

So here I sit today, waiting for my Bible to arrive next week and telling the story of how good things come to those how have a right heart. Yes, sometimes you have to wait. But, the wait is worth it. And so is the lesson you learn.


3 comments:

Jessica said...

Ouch........Sometimes it feels good sitting in our own self-righteous pity doesn't it? Oh me...

Rachel Ellington said...

Lovely post Rita. I'll be thinking about this today. Thanks!

Savannah said...

Loved it mommy! I do remember that dog.....she was a rascal.