Not the News I Wanted to Hear

Well, my appointment with the liver doctor was long and complicated.

First of all, my referral had expired, so I had to wait for nearly an hour before they got that straightened out. I had to call my primary care physician and go back and forth, back and forth....irritating to say the least.

This appointment was a follow up for my liver biopsy, which was done all the way back in August. I actually haven't talked to him about the biopsy, but I knew that nothing fatal was going on. My injury and surgery kept me so out of commission, I just took what little news I had as all I needed to know.

But the news I got yesterday was not what I wanted to hear.

My liver has inflammation and scarring, which the medical world gauges on a scale from one to four. Both my scarring and inflammation are a two. He didn't expect to see severe scarring for at least 10 years.

A couple of important things:

My medication is harming my liver. Some of my medications actually cause elevated enzymes, which means they are causing damage.

My inactivity due to the surgery has made my problem worse. Even though it can't be helped, the lack of exercise works against me.

A proper diet goes a long way with this condition. Not neccessarily a weight loss diet, but a balanced diet. Other things that affect liver enzymes are diabetes and high cholesterol. Right now, those two aren't an issue.

All of this news raises another problem. The medication I take for Interstitial Cystitis is known to elevate liver enzymes. The drug is called Elmiron, and it is the only drug on the market that treats IC. This is a real perdicament, for my IC is more problematic than the Lupus and Fibromyalgia put together. I may be forced to stop taking the only drug that helps my condition. Google Interstitial Cystitis...you will find it is a very painful, debilitating disease.

I'm very concerned about what choices I may have to make. It will not be easy dealing with the situation, but I only have one liver. And I must protect it with my life.

Either way, changes will have to be made. I may not like all of them, but they are neccessary. I'm a bit discouraged, readers. But hopeful, I remain.

The Appointment-All is Well and Good

My appointment came and went, and it's a relief to have the boot off. Now I have a brace that is much less bulky. Four more weeks....

The Doctor was very pleased. The amount of swelling I have is normal and should subside in about 2 months. The pain I am having is actually considered normal. (Thank the Lord!) I was concerned that I wasn't healing properly because I've been having some pain, but according to the Dr. it is to be expected.

The only down note is that I still have to wait a couple of weeks to drive and play piano. I had also asked him about starting up my walking regiment (I was walking 4 miles 4 times a week prior to all my problems.) That too will have to wait until I've had a couple of weeks of physical therapy. Drats.

He also advised me to not start driving, playing, and walking all at the same time. He said it would increase the pain. That's understandable, but I'm sooo ready to get back to all the things I've been missing out on.

Nonetheless, I have had a great day. Kevin and I had a nice lunch together before my appointment. We had some time to spare before I had to be at the Dr.'s office, so we had some latte and enjoyed each other's company and conversation. (I love times like these with Kevin!) One good thing about all of the surgeries; Kevin has had to take me everywhere. We've spent much deserved time together.

I hope all of you are safe, warm, and happy. TTFN...ta ta for now!

3 Days and Counting....

As of today, I have only three more days until my appointment with Dr. Davis, my orthopaedic surgeon! Woooohoooooo!!!! It will soon be "Goodbye" to the boot. I am really anxious to see what the next phase of recovery will bring. I'm hoping for normal shoes and driving privileges. I can't believe it, but soon I may actually get to wear a pair of matching shoes for the first time in 10 weeks.

One of the next things I will have to endure will be physical therapy. Yuck. I know, I know. It's neccessary, but it's so aggrevating to have to go. Thankfully, I live less than 3 minutes from the Physical Therapy office.

You know, it's hard to believe that I just stepped off of a step and BAM! I didn't sprain my ankle; I tore three ligaments (one completely from the bone). I think the worse thing I did was to try to keep from falling. That actually caused my ankle to roll inward after it had rolled outward. I remember hearing a POP and thinking, "I can't believe it! I just broke my ankle on my first day of vacation!" It wasn't broken, but this is really much worse, or so says the doctor.

Thank the Lord, I am on the road to recovery. Perhaps in the next few weeks, I will be able to wear some halfway fashionable shoes. The biggest part of the journey is behind me, and I'm in the homestretch. I hope everything I desire concerning the healing process comes to pass.

So, as of this morning, I only have 5 days left of wearing this ridiculous looking boot. As you can see, it screams "Lost in Space!" It screams it so loud that without fail, anytime I am in public people gawk and turn their heads. What I find especially humorous is people who don't turn their heads but follow my boot with their eyes as they pass by. I have long anticipated someone walking into a wall because their eyes were transfixed on my space walker. Fortunately, it never happened. Honestly, I would have a hard time not staring at something so ugly.

I'm overjoyed, but I have a nagging feeling that transitioning into a regular shoe won't be quick and easy. It seems like it would be easy, but things like this never go as planned. The swelling will surely make it impossible for my regular shoes to fit. And then there's the brace that I will continue to wear for the following 4 weeks. That's going to add bulk to my already swollen foot. Flip flops are an option I have had to keep open for the past 9 months, but I'm a little tired of them. Plus, IT'S COLD!!

The truth of the matter is, I may be coordinating my Sunday wardrobe around a few pair of flip flops. It's hard to be dapper when your shoes are making so much noise. I have some nice clothes I'd like to wear, but flip flops make the mix seem a little faux pas. Thank God, I attend a little country church where pretense holds no place!

I suppose time will tell. Shoes are really a small matter, especially when compared to the extent of the injury. Just getting back on the piano will bring me much joy, no matter what's on my feet!

Constant streams of music....but none of it is coming from me!

Strange thing happened last Wednesday night....

I haven't been on the piano for two months now. I have had a wonderful fill in, and I am so thankful she has stepped in. But alas, she went on a trip to Florida this past week. So that left only two choices: no piano at all or I fill in for the "fill in." I filled in.

It was painful. Honestly, I was afraid I had forgotten how to play. But it all came back to me. It strained my ankle quite a bit, so we only had a few congregationals. Needless to say, I was happy to see the fill in come home!

I miss making music. At home, we have constant music. All three of my children play the guitar. A couple of them are tackling the mandolin. Every once in a while, someone will pick away at the banjo. My children are even returning to their love for the piano.

But no music from me.

On a happy note (pun intended), we now have a violin. It was a gift from my father to my eldest son, but I have a feeling my daughter will master it before him.

My middle son Jordan also got an instrument for Christmas. My loving Dad gave Jordan a hand made custom guitar. He had a friend in Vietnam make him about 6 of these beautiful guitars. These jewels are such high quality, I would be hard pressed to find one of equal quality here in the states for under $1000. Spruce top, rosewood back and sides, abalone trim, wood tuning pegs; it's a real beauty. It sounds like a Martin, and it has been filling my home with endless music ever since it crossed the thresh hold.

But still no music from me.

I'm growing impatient to get back on the piano (the key here is the ankle). This ankle might as well be bionic because the surgery cost a whopping $22K. So, I really need to be careful and baby it as much as necessary. I don't think my insurance company will want to pay for a repeat of this surgery on the count of my negligence.

What's the old saying, good things come to those who wait? In the meantime, I'll enjoy the pickin'and grinnin' going on here at home.

Back in the Swing

I'm back in the swing of things....kinda.

With my new found mobility, I have returned to some of the smaller tasks at home. You know, cooking a simple meal, rotating laundry, loading the dishwasher, wiping counters, etc. Nothing ground breaking, but definitely progress. The absence of my cast has made those things a little easier. But the space boot I now don makes things a little tricky. The boot and slippery surfaces are seething enemies, and if I'm not careful, I'll be caught flat on the floor as a victim of circumstance!

Not only am I able to do a little around the house, I'm back to my small, "home business," more affectionately known as...Avon.

Now readers, I have to say up front, I have been an Avon customer for most of my adult life. I believe in their products because I have tried their products. There was always someone I knew selling it, and I made myself available to buy it. But I have to be honest. Avon ladies don't last very long. Or at least none that I purchased from lasted long. Fortunately, there are new representatives cropping up everyday, so it's never impossible to get the products. After my last Avon lady stopped selling, I decided that I would take up the gauntlet. Even if I didn't make a dime, I could purchase their great products at a discount.

I have been selling for almost 2 years, and I'm not exactly what Avon Corporation would call successful. I don't make loads of money; I would have to sell much, much more to do that. But I like my pace, and the good thing about Avon is that you can move up any time you want to.

Unfortunately, all of my Avon endeavors took a back seat to my health issues this year. My first surgery in March made it impossible to do anything. Then my injury in July only extended that impossibilty. I have been "off my feet" for nearly half the year. To clarify, being "off my feet" consisted on either being on crutches, in a wheel chair, or under strict doctor's orders to keep my foot elevated for most of the day. So you can imagine why Avon was put on hold.

With Christmas approaching, I wanted to get back into selling, if for nothing but the discount for myself. I received my first shipment today, and it's just about as fun as a kid at Christmas! I love sorting my orders, filling bags, looking through the new books. I've really missed it.

Since I have trouble walking for any length of time, I have bought quite a bit of Christmas gifts through Avon. This has made "shopping" easier. Unfortunately, they don't sell the X Box 360 Elite. Go figure....they have just about everything else!

So, I'm back in the swing of peddling my wares and having a fun with something I have had to set aside for a loooong time.

I'm glad things are returning to normal...at least a quasi norm!

The Cast is Off, Now the Boot

I have got to post some pix of this space boot I now wear. Just think of "Lost in Space."


But Hooray!! The cast is gone! I've never been so excited about a doctor's appointment in all my life. I waited with much anticipation as the Dr. Assistant sawed my cast off. The unveiling of my puny, atrophied calf was a welcomed sight. The space boot is easier to walk in, but it will take some practice. At least I can take the air cast off when I bathe and sleep. And I'm just tickled pink about that! It is no more stylish than my red cast, but the dull gray walking boot allows me more ease of mobility.


Now the next phase. I will wear the air cast for 4 weeks. I am still unable to drive or play the piano, but 6 weeks of this process is behind me...I'm almost half way through this ordeal.


After the air cast, I will "transition" into a brace and begin my physical therapy. That will last another 4 weeks. *sigh* Sometimes I think this will never end. As much as I want to rush this and get it behind me, I am very much aware of how careful I must be. Even though I am 6 weeks into this, I still can't move my foot left to right. It is painfully stiff, and trying to move my ankle in any direction other than up and down could result in the ligaments detaching from the bone. And I really don't want that.


I have to be grateful. At least I won't spend Christmas and New Years on crutches!

Agony of de Feet!

I hate to be a whiney baby...but this whole recovery thing stinks. I mean, people keep bringing me food every day. I haven't been able to do the housework that I so love to do. Someone else is carting my kids all over creation. People are calling me every single day to say, "How are you? I've been praying for you. Feel better soon!" My husband has to help me up, down, and into bed. I have to have my foot propped on three thick pillows. I have been robbed of the privilege of doing laundry.(Please stand by while I regain my composure.) I have been stripped of my God given right to go to the bank, to dash in and out of Wal-Mart, to stroll to the library and return books that are 6 weeks overdue, to make a last minute run to the grocery store right before it closes. Is anyone shedding a tear for me yet??? It's rough, I know, but some how, some way, I will survive.

A little tongue in cheek humor there. Actually, all of the above represent the beautiful side of recovering from a major surgery. Of course, if you don't have a strong network of family, church or otherwise, you might not have the wonderful help I do.

I can't thank the Jefferson Lighthouse Baptist Church enough for all their sacrifice and help during this time. The family of God has stood by my bedside many times, whether it be hospital bed or my bed at home. It's been a thick and thin relationship that has never given way under the pressures. I can only hope to return the blessing to each of the ladies. God knows my heart. I want to, more than anything I want to.

However, there are some agonies of de feet that I have to come to terms with on my own. With all the positives, there are some negatives I have to deal with, and to be honest, I don't have an easy time dealing with them. For instance, I am immobilized to the point that I can't even do a simple task. That greatly aggrevates me. I was sitting here last night with our dinner guests, (they had brought us all the yummy fixins for tacos and stayed to dine and clean up) and I noticed this enormous cobweb. Under normal circumstances, I would have done all I could to detract any attention from what seemed to be obvious. But instead, I just sat there in my wheelchair helplessly awaiting the cobweb's debut. I don't know if my dinner guest noticed it, but all I could think was, "Some creature sure was busy during this past 2 weeks!" Doesn't make a homemaker feel too good.

Although I don't miss grocery shopping, I miss being able to drive. I won't be able to drive for another 4-6 weeks. That's a real bummer because I really dislike asking people to run errands for me. And with Kevin's busy schedule, it makes it double hard on him.

It sounds fun to ask someone to hand you something that is 6 feet away from you, but after a while, you just want to be able to do it yourself. However, getting it yourself is not that easy. My foot is supposed to be elevated above my heart. So in order to get something even six feet away, I have to remove the leaning tower of pillows, de-recline the recliner, pull myself up on my crutches, and hobble the few steps away to get whatever it was I wanted, find a way to carry it back to the recliner (hopefully in my mouth or under my arm squeezed beside my crutch). And then if I drop it! AACCCCKKK!!!!!! To sum it up: I have to really want it bad to get it myself. It's just so much easier to ask someone else to get it. But asking someone else comes with a twinge of guilt. ;> Vicious circle, I know.

It's not only the guilt of always having to ask someone else to do a simple task for you, it's also the fact that you like the way you do it better. Oh boy, this is a real issue for me. As I wheel through the kitchen in my wheelchair, I am at eye level with my countertops. When I see crumbs, microscopic though they may be, I ask, "Dear Lord, where have I gone wrong? I have shown these kids time and time again how to clean this counter. Where's a dishcloth...." Now this is where I get in real trouble with my husband. As he wheels me out of the kitchen, I am wiping the counter as I go, just a'pitchin' a hissy fit. Then I start in about the microwave, and the refrigerator, and the sweeping, and the mopping. Oh, wait...that's how I am even without surgery! Seriously, I want to reclean what my husband and children are trying to clean, and it wouldn't be so bad if my hands, or in this case, my feet, weren't tied.

Another form of agony I feel is my restriction from the piano. My surgery was on my pedal foot, so I can't play the piano for at least 6 weeks. Now that makes me sad. I have tried crossing my legs and using my left foot on the pedal, but it is too awkward. I will enjoy hearing the choir from the pew for a change, but I will greatly miss my place on the piano bench.

Yes. The agony of defeat, or de feet. Either way, I'm experiencing it. I know I'll come out on top, but arising as the Victor takes alot out of a person. It most definitely takes a lot out of their family. I'm thankful for their help, and I'm thankful to God. Without them, I could never be victorious at all.

Above all, I want to be thankful that my condition is very temporary. I'm not permanently confined to a wheelchair, and my prognosis is great, of course. Lest I should be seen as unaware of how great I've got it, I want to say I see sunny days ahead!

Have I Failed to Mention....?

Some pets are called, "the dog with a thousand faces." I am the "person with a thousand matter-0f-fact facts", one of them being that I suffer from insomnia. So, in case I have previously failed to mention that, don't let the time stamp on this post freak you out.

I have survived the Lateral Ligament Reconstruction with the Arthroscopy. In fact, the surgeon was pleasantly surprised with what he found. I had no cartilage or bone fragments floating around. However, I did have two ligaments on the right side of my ankle that had to be repaired. All in all, I will survive.

Now for the recovery part. I know, it seems like the easy part, but this ankle hurts. In case I didn't mention it, the surgeon attached my torn ligaments to my ankle with anchors, which means he had to drill into the ankle bone. Ouch. It's just a wee bit sensitive. Actually, it's "alot" sensitive. The Percocet is barely knocking the edge off the pain. I'm doing my best to keep my foot elevated, but to be honest, no postition is comfortable.

I have a 12 week recovery ahead of me and alot of time on my hands. It's not that I don't have anything to do. It's just that I can't do anything that requires my feet! As soon as I can get past the pain and grogginess, I hope to devote some time to my homeschool lesson plans. I know my children will greatly appreciate that!

I had a dear friend stop by today. I thought she was coming to see me....you know, the poor, post-op Pastor's wife, but she had come to see my daughter. She had bought Savannah some yarn and a crochet needle and she wanted to dart in this house and show Savannah how to crochet in like 5 minutes. I said hold on! These kids have work to do! All the while, I'm trying to figure out if I can think clearly enough through the Percocet fog to learn how to crochet in 5 minutes myself! You see, I may have failed to mention it, but I have always wanted to learn.

Annette, my dear friend, said, "It won't take but a minute. I just want to show her how to start her chain. Then I will teach her the rest." Y'know, I kinda wanted to say, "Hey, I'd like to learn!" But I refrained. I sat there with my foot propped up trying to absorb what she was showing my daughter. Every now and then, Annette would turn to me and tell me how to do what she had just told Savannah. My chance came later in the day when she brought the boys home from Christmas play practice. The sweet gal even went to Wal-Mart at 10:30 p.m. to get the colors of yarn I wanted. She even returned with Reese Cups. What a Friend!

So, the Leftie is finally learning to crochet. Did I fail to mention that every time I asked someone to teach me to crochet they backed out once they found out I was left handed? They always said, "You're backwards. You won't be able to understand." Actually, I didn't have any problem translating what Annette did with her right hand into "lefthandedness." It came pretty natural. As soon as I can add to my chain, I will post a picture.

It's been a lovely late night chat, but even insomniacs get sleepy. Now I must carefully hobble back to my bed. In this home, no further injuries on my behalf are permitted!!

Surgery....And a few other things

Well, in just a few hours I will be leaving my house to go to the surgery center. I should be in bed sleeping, but I always have trouble sleeping before surgery. This will be number 11. Incredible.

I wil have a 12 week recovery time, but hopefully, I will be up on my feet within 2-3 weeks. This isn't what I was hoping for, but we don't always get what we want in life. And it's better on us if we just go ahead and deal with that fact.

That leads me to the election.

I'm very disappointed. I wasn't a big McCain fan, but I absolutely detest Obama's policies. It is a historical moment that we have elected an African American as the President of the United States. It is shameful that blacks were ever treated the way they were, and it is a proud moment that an African American has been elected into the highest office in the world.

It is also historical in that Obama is the most socialistic president ever to serve. This greatly concerns me. But again, we don't always get what we want. Historically, after two terms of any given political party, the other party regains control. So the bright side?? Not sure if there is one because the Republicans have fallen away from conservatism .

Yes. There is a bright side. God is still God. Jesus still saves, and He is still Lord! I am so thankful that no matter who is in the White House, I know Who is on the Throne!

I Once Had Beautiful Feet

My Nemeses....my arch rivals...these beauties I
must trade for beasts! Is this worth foot surgery?
No. A thousand times No!




It is with sadness and heaviness that I write today. A dark reality has blanketed my day, and I must share it with my readership. I just returned from a follow up appointment with my Orthopaedic Surgeon, and I may have to have yet another foot surgery.

I wince.

You see, I have just now recovered from my first foot surgery. The surgery I had 7 months ago-a "simple" bunionectomy and cystectomy on my left foot. HA! The surgery that very nearly made me question whether I had a purposeful existence. Ladies and gentlemen, I wanted to die. (And I am not using hyperbole) That surgery was the most painful experience of my life, and of all the surgeries I've had, my foot surgery was the most unbearable.

Now, I won't go into all the medical jargon, but I will say this...the foot is nerve rich. Let me put it this way: I would rather relive my hysterectomy than have another foot surgery. But here I sit today, facing a possible and very likely surgery on my right ankle.

I was lucky enough to sustain a severe grade 3 sprain on my first day of our family vacation. Let's hear it for Rita the clutz! It changed the family vacation, to say the very least. I was equipped with an arsenal of Percocets and Lortabs, along with crutches and a very stylish splint. Not. The hiking plans were nixed, along with the tour of the Biltmore House. Instead, we played Scategories and Uno in Marathon-ish proportions.

But being the forever optimist, I simple thought 2-3 weeks in advance. You know, I visualized myself back at Curves with sweat glistening on my brow. I envisioned shedding my tacky splint and tossing those crutches aside. In the midst of my racking pain, I assured myself, "This will be over in a couple of weeks. Sprains aren't as bad as surgery...you'll be over this in no time."

Long story short; ten weeks post injury, my ankle is extremely loose. The swelling is still plaguing me, and there is an ever-present discoloration that resembles a bubonic blue. I would be lying if I said this ankle were pain free. And now the feet that were once dainty and pretty, (even my critical sisters would have to confirm this as fact) look like a crime scene. Or at least the left one does. And the right foot may be soon to follow!

We have a name for the way my feet look....FrankenFoot. A left foot defined by hideous keloid scars; a right foot defined by an eerie discoloration and swelling. Keloids of all things! I've got at least a half dozen surgery scars on my body, but none of them can be seen. None except the lovely keloids sitting atop my foot. My cute summer sandals can't mask the ugly feet that have taken on a life of their own. I would post photos, but it would be too graphic.

Alas! Am I, at 38, doomed to a life of orthopaedic Dr. Scholls footwear and knee high socks? I love my Clarks, but come on! They don't go with everything! I once had beautiful feet, but those feet will never return. It's just the plain hideous truth.

Before I appear overly vain and narcissistic, let me say that a potential ankle surgery holds more than just ugly scars. It also holds a great deal of pain and a long road of recovery. And that gives me the greatest sense of dread.

Let's face it: I have to laugh to keep from crying. My MRI next week will tell the tale. Hopefully, I will escape the pending doom of surgery. But if not, recuperation time means more time to write. Plus, I will readily admit, the Royal Treatment of a woman off her feet for 6-8 weeks is a nice way to recover!