Tuesday, February 17, 2009

To Every Thing a Season....A Time to Dance

Today is my mother-in-law's birthday. Had she survived the widespread cancer that consumed her body, she would have celebrated her 61st birthday today. Unfortunately, we lost her almost three years ago. I personally have never seen someone suffer as much as Sandra did. It was horrible to watch; little did we know that we would lose her so fast.

I want to tell the story of how it happened, how we coped, and how we dealt with all the issues that come along with a terminal illness. I wish I had a different story to tell, but this is it. During the year prior to Sandra's death, it felt like we went through a lifetime of seasons. Joy, pain, love, disappointment...but I want to start off my story with a happy time. So, here's "A Time to Dance." I hope you will follow on this journey. I'll add a new "chapter" every few days.

A Time to Dance
It started out to be such a gloomy day, not the beautiful day you'd hope for with a wedding planned. April 9, 2005- Stephanie's wedding day. My sister in law had decided on an outdoor wedding. The skies threatened rain, but by the time the Bridal Brunch was over, the sun was starting to break through the clouds. By 1:00 p.m. (only two hours before the wedding), there was no trace of any clouds. Sandra breathed a sigh of relief. Everything would go as planned.
The wedding took place outdoors at a family friend's house. The yard was beautiful! Azaleas in full bloom, gorgeous landscaping. The house was in a lakeside neighborhood, making the "beach theme" for the wedding a gleaming success. I have to say, my mother-in-law spared no expense. Everything was done to her normal perfection standard. A canoe held ice chilled glass bottles filled with flavored soda. The unity candle was a tiki torch adorned with layers of ribbons. The food was exquisite, consisting of seafood galore. The "aisle" the bride walked was soft white sand, and the entire bridal party was barefooted. Stephanie was married under a gazebo lit by torches. The private lake in the background...it was really a sight to behold!
The wedding went off without a hitch. Not only did the bride look beautiful, so did the mother of the bride. She looked fantastic! Sandra was elated that all her hard work was behind her, and that everything had gone so smoothly.
After the presentation of the new couple, the bride was led to the "dance floor." There to the side of the yard was a parquet floor for the new couple to have their first dance. They danced a slow waltz, and everyone just gazed at how happy they looked. James, my father-in-law, stepped up behind the groom and tapped his shoulder. It was time for the bride to dance with her father. Okay, I'm not one for dancing, but I couldn't help but cry. It was a very classy moment, very touching. Soon, the groom was dancing with his mother, then Sandra. Again, very touching. There they were, waltzing with their parents...it just touched me so. No one else in the bridal party danced, just the bride and groom and their parents. It was really something to see...all of the guests were silently watching from the deck of the house, looking down at this beautiful couple and their parents. For Stephanie and Brad, it was a time to dance. A time to rejoice. A new life, a new journey.
The reception followed the dance. Everyone mingled, laughed, and talked. We were enjoying the 70 degree weather and taking in the breathtaking surroundings. Sandra and her husband Jackie were glowing! My mother-in-law's heart was as light as a feather. The whole family shared in the joy of the occasion, but Sandra was beaming.
Soon, we all said goodbye to the newlyweds. Night had fallen, and Brad and Stephanie were ushered through a line of guests holding sizzler fire sticks. After they left, Kevin and I talked with his mom and Jackie for a little while then headed home ourselves.
The following Tuesday I called Sandra to see how she was doing. She sounded absolutely wore out. She informed me that she didn't even get out of PJ's on Monday and that she had done very little on Tuesday. With all of her work on the wedding, that was completely understandable. Kevin and I commended her on the wedding and we promised her we would visit soon. Before we knew it, summer had arrived.

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