A Time to Heal...To Every Thing a Season chpt. 3

The closing of our house had been delayed about 3 times. We were beginning to wonder if it would ever happen. It was August, and we were growing antsy. We told our realtor to continue showing our house while the buyer was getting his financing straightened out. We wanted to be patient, but we also wanted to keep our options open. Finally, at the end of August, we closed on the house. It was a joyous occasion! We decided that we would celebrate by taking our children bowling. A large group from our church ended up going along. We had a great time of fun and fellowship.

August brought a lot of ups and downs for us. The closing of the house, the trouble at church...it was very difficult. My husband was under an untold amount of pressure with the issues of the families that left. We had so many unanswered questions, and no one but God who could answer them. Sometimes He answered. Sometimes He was silent. It was an emotional time for our children as well. After all, their friends left when the parents left. In a small church like ours, it feels like a divorce when people leave. You remember all the good times and wonder why it had to change. I still don't have all the answers, but I do have the peace I need.

One day, I called Sandra to see how her recent ortho appointment went. She was exuberant! The tissue in her finger was growing back. The finger that was once black and dead was now pink and alive. Her surgeon was amazed. In fact he told Sandra, "I don't care where I am or what I am doing, if you ever see me, I want you to show me your finger again. All of my medical textbooks say that your finger should have been amputated. I just can't believe what I'm looking at today!"

Sandra had experienced a miracle! And it gave her so much hope. She had been able to return to work for a little while, but her back was still a huge problem. Pain medication was necessary, and she found it difficult to do without it. Still, she felt as if the spine specialist would be able to help her.

If she could just get her back problem resolved, Jackie would be free to go to Duke. He wouldn't leave her at home in the condition she was in. Sandra was constantly pressing Jackie to set up the initial visit at Duke, but he kept putting it off. She thought he was just trying to let the whole thing go, give up, in a way. But really, his procrastination kept him by Sandra's side when she needed him the most.

A Time to Plant...To Every Thing a Season chpt. 2

July had come so quickly! All the wedding pandemonium had died down, and Sandra was back to her regular routine. She loved yard work, as was evident when you drove up to her home. Her yard was meticulously landscaped. She had all kinds of concrete statuary, plants, flowers...she really knew how to make a yard a haven. She was never gaudy or chintzy; she was "classy" all the way!

Kevin and I were going through some pretty big changes in our lives. We had put our home on the market nearly a year prior to this time. At the beginning of July, we had finally had a buyer. With a contract on our home, we moved into the basement of our church. It allowed us more time and liberty with moving our things, especially since the buyers wanted to close in only 19 days.

We had also experienced tremendous difficulty in the ministry. We had a couple of families leave the church, which absolutely broke our hearts. There were lies and deception, but there was also just plain old misunderstandings that led up to this. It was very trying, but little did I know that darker days were ahead. I can remember feeling like I would die; my heart literally hurt. I wanted to scream out to the whole world, but I was silenced by the ache of knowing that it would do no good. People will think what they will and do what they will. All I could do was pray and keep myself right with the Lord. That wasn't easy because I held so much resentment towards the ones that left. It took a long time before I could pray, I mean really pray, for those that left. The Lord has given me victory in that area, and God alone knows that I really love them. But during this time, it was devestating. And it only compounded the grief that was in store for us.

One day while living at the church, Sandra called Kevin. She had been planting flowers and was moving one of the huge planters across her patio. She had taken on more than she could handle. As she was rolling the planter on it's side, (it was much too heavy for even a man to pickup by himself) her index finger on her right hand was accidentally crushed underneath. Fortunately, her husband Jackie was home. He heard her screams and ran outside to see what in the world was wrong. He took her to the local emergency room. I'm not sure how many stitches it required, but the ER doctor told Sandra to see an orthopaedic surgeon immediately. The tissue in her finger was dead, and amputation was almost certain.

As she talked with Kevin, she sounded so frail and weak. Of course she had been in a great deal of pain, but she sounded so helpless, in need of a miracle. He promised to pray that her finger would heal. It was a long shot. Her ortho surgeon, who was a classmate and high school friend of Kevin's, said that it was doubtful and tried to prepare Sandra for the worst. The pain was so severe, she missed weeks of work. Fortunately, she had plenty of personal time to take off, but it was frustrating to Sandra to miss work over a finger. But as a county real estate appraiser, she made great use of her hands. Her time off simply couldn't be helped.

Not only did Sandra inform Kevin of her finger, she informed him that her back was bothering her. She said she had been seeing a chiropractor for the back pain, but she wasn't getting any relief. She told us that she was scheduled to see a spine specialist in Columbia, SC with the hopes that her problem would soon be resolved.

After Kevin got off the phone with his Mom, he decided that it was time to take a trip to Camden. We visited around the third week in July. Her finger was all bandaged up, still threatened with amputation. By the time we made our trip, Sandra had visited the spine specialist and was wearing a brace.

Her back was now as big of an issue as her finger. X-Rays had determined that she had a cracked vertebrae around the lumbar region. Sandra had fallen down the steps of her back porch earlier in the winter, but didn't think there was any problem as a result. The doctor believed that her fall had broken her vertebrae. He said it wasn't uncommon to not experience pain or problems until months later.

Sandra was always an encouraging person to be around. She wouldn't let you mope and think the worst. I always called her "Mrs. Silver Lining." She was superb at pointing out the things to be grateful for, even when circumstances said otherwise. But, I could tell she was very down. She had always been in good health, so dealing with pain and physical problems of her own were new to her. Her husband Jackie was a different story; he was suffering from Pulmonary Fibrosis and Emphysema. In fact, just a few weeks prior to Sandra's planting accident, Jackie had taken a fall that resulted in a cracked rib. When the hospital ran the x-rays, his lungs were so scarred, the film was completely black. His pulmonologist gave him the ultimatum: have a double lung transplant or die a very ugly death.

Needless to say, Sandra wanted to get well so that Jackie could take his much needed trip to Duke University. She tried to get better, even if it was only a mental improvement. She knew Jackie needed her to be well before he could get new lungs. That was her goal; get better so Jackie could get better. The only problem was, Jackie was worse than we knew. And so was Sandra.

To Every Thing a Season....A Time to Dance

Today is my mother-in-law's birthday. Had she survived the widespread cancer that consumed her body, she would have celebrated her 61st birthday today. Unfortunately, we lost her almost three years ago. I personally have never seen someone suffer as much as Sandra did. It was horrible to watch; little did we know that we would lose her so fast.

I want to tell the story of how it happened, how we coped, and how we dealt with all the issues that come along with a terminal illness. I wish I had a different story to tell, but this is it. During the year prior to Sandra's death, it felt like we went through a lifetime of seasons. Joy, pain, love, disappointment...but I want to start off my story with a happy time. So, here's "A Time to Dance." I hope you will follow on this journey. I'll add a new "chapter" every few days.

A Time to Dance

It started out to be such a gloomy day, not the beautiful day you'd hope for with a wedding planned. April 9, 2005- Stephanie's wedding day. My sister in law had decided on an outdoor wedding. The skies threatened rain, but by the time the Bridal Brunch was over, the sun was starting to break through the clouds. By 1:00 p.m. (only two hours before the wedding), there was no trace of any clouds. Sandra breathed a sigh of relief. Everything would go as planned.

The wedding took place outdoors at a family friend's house. The yard was beautiful! Azaleas in full bloom, gorgeous landscaping. The house was in a lakeside neighborhood, making the "beach theme" for the wedding a gleaming success. I have to say, my mother-in-law spared no expense. Everything was done to her normal perfection standard. A canoe held ice chilled glass bottles filled with flavored soda. The unity candle was a tiki torch adorned with layers of ribbons. The food was exquisite, consisting of seafood galore. The "aisle" the bride walked was soft white sand, and the entire bridal party was barefooted. Stephanie was married under a gazebo lit by torches. The private lake in the background...it was really a sight to behold!

The wedding went off without a hitch. Not only did the bride look beautiful, so did the mother of the bride. She looked fantastic! Sandra was elated that all her hard work was behind her, and that everything had gone so smoothly.

After the presentation of the new couple, the bride was led to the "dance floor." There to the side of the yard was a parquet floor for the new couple to have their first dance. They danced a slow waltz, and everyone just gazed at how happy they looked. James, my father-in-law, stepped up behind the groom and tapped his shoulder. It was time for the bride to dance with her father. Okay, I'm not one for dancing, but I couldn't help but cry. It was a very classy moment, very touching. Soon, the groom was dancing with his mother, then Sandra. Again, very touching. There they were, waltzing with their parents...it just touched me so. No one else in the bridal party danced, just the bride and groom and their parents. It was really something to see...all of the guests were silently watching from the deck of the house, looking down at this beautiful couple and their parents. For Stephanie and Brad, it was a time to dance. A time to rejoice. A new life, a new journey.

The reception followed the dance. Everyone mingled, laughed, and talked. We were enjoying the 70 degree weather and taking in the breathtaking surroundings. Sandra and her husband Jackie were glowing! My mother-in-law's heart was as light as a feather. The whole family shared in the joy of the occasion, but Sandra was beaming.

Soon, we all said goodbye to the newlyweds. Night had fallen, and Brad and Stephanie were ushered through a line of guests holding sizzler fire sticks. After they left, Kevin and I talked with his mom and Jackie for a little while then headed home ourselves.

The following Tuesday I called Sandra to see how she was doing. She sounded absolutely wore out. She informed me that she didn't even get out of PJ's on Monday and that she had done very little on Tuesday. With all of her work on the wedding, that was completely understandable. Kevin and I commended her on the wedding and we promised her we would visit soon. Before we knew it, summer had arrived.

Type A Influenza

Well, I'm crawling out from under my rock to let the blogosphere know that the Whitman crew has Type A Influenza.

I have been running a fever since Thursday, but on Sunday, I knew I had the flu. The kiddies, especially Savannah, started getting sick over the weekend. I feel horrible, just like everyone else who has the flu. The bad part is, we are having a difficult time trying to find a pharmacy that has Relenza in stock. Tamiflu won't touch what we have, and it seems that every pharmacy in North Georgia has a shortage of the inhaler flu medication.

We took Daniel to the Dr. this morning. Since he's the sickest and since his arthritis comes into play, we thought it best to get him looked at right away. They couldn't see him Monday, but the Dr. office scheduled him for 8:30 am this morning. Dr. Sam was kind enough to write the entire family perscriptions for Relenza so that we all won't have to be seen. Dr. Sam is a good, old fashioned doctor, and it really helps us out when he does things like this! He said that Daniel was the fifth case of the flu that he had seen this season and that it's just now hitting the schools. There's about to be a tidal wave of Relenza seekers!!

Anyway, my dear hubby is out (hopefully) getting the prescriptions filled. Kroger said they have it, but with only two left, he's hoping he gets there before anyone else. It's about a 15 minute drive, so I'm hoping he'll make it. Since Jordan and Savannah aren't running fevers anymore, we are only filling the prescriptions for me and Dan. Hubby needs his too, but he still thinks he's invincible! ;->

When we are better, we will post more. Until then, rest is the best thing I can do!!

Taxes Done!!

I'm way ahead of the game.

Way ahead.

Remember, I just had my 2007 taxes done less than four months ago. And now I have already had my 2008 returns done and e-filed. What a blessing!!

I spent about 9 hours last Friday getting my bank statements together. I had already done 5 months worth if that gives you any clue as to how long it takes to pour through my statements. I spent another 4 hours Saturday getting my expense receipts organized. But at last, I finished my end of my tax preparations at around 6:30 p.m. Saturday.

What exactly are you looking for when you are "pouring" through your statements, you might be asking?? Deductions that only the clergy can claim. Our records of payments for cellphone bills, utilities, gas purchases made on my debit card, etc. Of course, this whole process would be much easier if I would just do this this at the end of every month instead of waiting until the end of the year. ;~>

Anyway, my accountant Madeline is great! She specializes in Ministry taxes and is worth the hour and a half drive. It's only once a year, and I enjoy the yearly "catch me up" chat we always end up having.

After about 5 hours at the accountants office, I managed to hit the afternoon commute traffic in Atlanta. Lucky me. And it gets worse. While sitting in traffic, I started feeling achy. I felt like I couldn't make it home but knew I had a long way to go. I happened to have a thermometer with me in my SUV, and sure enough, I was running a fever. We had about a dozen people out of Church last night due to the flu, so I hope that's not what I've got.

I prayed for God to please let me get home. After 2 hours of stop and go traffic, I finally made it back, and not a moment too soon. As soon as I got home, I began having chills and an extremely sore throat. The fever finally broke, but I still feel lousy. Thanks to blog spot's scheduling feature, I will be snoozing peacefully in bed by the time this posts on Friday morning. I need rest right now. Not the flu.

Hoping to feel better soon. February is a month near and dear to me. My mother in law, who passed away three years ago, would have been 60 on February 17Th. I plan to write about our family's journey into the dreaded diagnosis of cancer and how we fought, prayed, loved, laughed, but in the end, ultimately lost a dear family member. More on that later. For now, sweet sleep for Mrs. Rita.

The Million Dollar Project

We have a new math project going on right now for children. Here's the breakdown:

The have One Million Dollars. The have to document how they will spend it down to the last penny. And yes, they have to spend every penny. They can invest in stocks or CD's, but they can not tuck "money" away under the matress. It has to be spent. Not a penny over and not a penny under.

For instance, when they shop for their house, they have to actually find a house on the GAMLS that they want to buy and provide that listing number. If they want a car, they have to provide the dealership and include taxes. If they want a mountain bike, they have to give the brand, model, add tax, shipping if applicable, etc. They can give to charity, buy a luxury vacation, etc. But they have to spend every single penny, but not a penny more. They also have to make a chart showing the house, car, and other items to show how they spent their One Million.

What I'm looking for here is responsible spending, creativity, consumer math skills, and how much self restraint my children will exercise. My sixth grade daughter will not be required to invest, but the boys will. After all, you buy shares!

They have one week to complete this project. I can't wait to see how this turns out! Next month's math project will be to manage a household budget on a set amount of money. They are actually looking forward to that!!

Out of Commission and Other News

It's been over a week since my last post. We've been out of commission. All of us, except for my dear hubby, had a wicked cold. Miserable, that's what we were. It was so draining. We just laid around, coughed, sneezed, ached, etc. Fortunately, no fevers. Unfortunately, some of our close friends have children that have just been diagnosed with the flu. YIKES! I hope that's not coming next.

We were able to spend last evening over at the Smith's house. They are a couple in our church, and we had such a great time of fellowship. We laughed until our sides hurt! The ladies played the piano, and the gents drank coffee and played XBOX. Then we all sat around in the keeping room and told stories, laughed, and just had an old fashioned good time by the fire. Thank you Darrell and Tina. The food was great, but the fellowship was better!

School is back on track, sort of. My oldest son Daniel seems to be having some problems with his arthritis and it always slows him down. Since he has started bicycling, he has incorporated some really good stretches, but I still have to "stretch" him to make sure he doesn't become stiff as cement. His neck is the worse and is already stiff as a board. It takes a lot of stretching, medication, and time to regain his mobility. We had hoped he would outgrow this, but as he gets older, his flares seem to get worse.

As for me, I should know something definite about my liver disease and the effects of my medications in another week or two. I'm afraid it won't be the news I'd like to hear, but I know my LORD has already spoken the word and given the comfort. If I have to come of the medications for my IC, I will stand in great need of His grace to deal with the pain of my condition, yet there is sufficient grace to help me cross that bridge when I come to it.

I sometimes wonder if others think, "Wow. She must be under the judgment of God with all those health problems." That's easy to think, I'm sure. It's probably even human nature. I suppose it was about 12 years ago I wondered the same thing about myself...have I done something wrong? Is the Lord punishing me for some wrong that I have failed to admit or refused to repent of. I spent a few months searching myself because I couldn't really believe that God would let someone so young have so many problems and it NOT be a case of judgment.

But I found out different. In my prayer closet, the God of Heaven showed me that His main interest in my health was to conform me to the image of His dear Son. His body was broken beyond mine...yet he fulfilled the Father's will.

Every new health problem that arises, I have to check myself again. And so should we all. I have seen others fall ill of some dreaded disease or illness, and wondered if their illness was a result of God's judgment. And then I know-I know without a doubt- it rains on the just and the unjust. Bad people are well. Good people are ill. It's just a natural part of life. With God, illness can bring a miracle. Or, it can bring much grace. For me, it has brought much grace.

I can't complain about the lack of a miracle when I have enjoyed so much grace, can I?? No. I can't. I won't.