I Remember

I remember some things from this past year. Actually, I would have to say that in my time of reflection of this past year, my heart and mind go back several years. Some events are forever etched in my mind, and the lessons I learned are ingrained upon my heart. I want to share some of them with you all.

I remember the salvation of my children. Daniel was saved this year, and it was the greatest event of the entire year. My prayers had been heard.

I remember when Jordan and Savannah were saved, in 06 and 07, respectively. These memories never fade.

I remember the day all my children were baptised together, along with four other children from the church. How can I forget all those teens, tweens, and inbetweens expressing their desire to be baptised? It was monumental.

I remember the excitement of our old fashioned tent meetings. I love seeing sinners come under the tent, wanting to hear the gospel.

But I also remember feeling like giving up. I was so sure that I could not go on. In fact, last year at this exact time, I remember my husband and I talking to another Pastor. I was so discouraged, so defeated. But here I am today...because His anchor holds.

I remember feeling immense disappointment, not only in events, but people. But the Lord reminded me that I have surely been a disappointment to someone else.

I remember a hurt that made my very soul bleed. I never knew I could hurt so deeply. It could have changed my life forever, but I decided to let the Lord heal my pain.

I also remember the Lord showing me that forgiveness was the only way to victory.

Yes. I remember hurting. But I also remember forgiving.

I remember needing forgiveness, not just from my Lord, but from other people. I also learned that it feels as wonderful to forgive as it does to be forgiven.

I remember the laughter of friends that are no longer a part of my life. I know they think that I don't love them, but I do and always will. I will never forget when the times were good, and I'm doing my best to forget all that was bad.

I remember the constant pain in my body. 2008 has proven to be a year of physical trials. For over 8 months of the year, I have been "off my feet", at least to the point that I could not take care of my home, my children, my husband, or myself. Three surgeries in 08...yet I can tell you what it's like to be sustained by the Creator of the World.

I remember asking God, "Why?" I could not understand why He allowed me to suffer so much pain when I could hand pick 2 dozen people that weren't faithful yet always seemed to be "blessed" with health.

I remember God telling me that in my weakness He would make Himself known, not only to me, but to others.

I remember realizing that when you present yourself a vessel for the Master's use, you are allowing Him to use you as He sees fit. Submitted vessels don't dictate. They obey.


2008 held some very difficult times, but with each and every hardship and trial, the Lord made Himself known unto me. He wasn't punishing me. He had not forgotten me. He was simply molding me into His image. So, how can I complain?

Look back over your year, and if you are like me, you will see that all that has transpired has been guided by an unseen hand. And when I reflect upon that, 2009 brings me much excitement!